Tags
Artist, Dad, Daddy, faabest, Family, Father, Father's Day, Fathers, Forgiveness, hope, love, Men, sharon cummings
This is my second Father’s Day without a Dad. I lost my “Daddy” when I was 10 years old and my “Pop” two Summers ago at age 43. Both loses have their own particular kind of sting. That’s me in my Daddy’s arms as an infant in the first picture and me in my Pop’s in the later. As with Father’s Day in the past, forgiveness always comes to the surface. It isn’t that I have not forgiven these two men for their shortcomings. Both had many and I have long since come to terms and found peace. It is more about the fact that without either of them here, forgiveness is something that I can cherish. It is much easier to celebrate someone’s life and their positive role in yours if you can let go of past hurts. If you can see them for their humanity. See the ways that they must have felt pain inside and the ways they tried to make themselves feel better. I have had to forgive alcoholism, physical abuse, suicide and more. I have had to go beyond my inner child to see theirs. It took years for me to fully open up and allow their love to move freely through my thoughts and my heart. But I have and they do. So today on Father’s Day I want to celebrate love and be thankful for forgiveness which truly has set me free!
Abstract Art by Sharon Cummings 
Yes. Seeing their hurt inner child helps to forgive. Your words will eventually help my sons with their own dad.
I have found in life that there is always someone to forgive for something including ourselves…it’s a lifelong journey, but the more you learn to do it, the more free you become! Have a wonderful day!
Yes. I hope that someday my sons can get there. They know that at this point in their lives that the control over the relationship belongs to them. But finding a way to be at peace with him will take longer. Enjoy your day as well. 🙂
Beautifully, truthfully stated. Forgive, its good for your soul too.
Indeed it is…
Sharon, thank you for your eloquent post. You have expressed much of what I also feel on this day.
Peace be with you today Sally. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by.
Reblogged this on rebloggobbler.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really enjoy reading your blog posts every day and I appreciate you sharing. Have a great day.
Thank you Omaste!
Very well said Sharon. “I have had to go beyond my inner child to see theirs.” is particulary thought provoking. Thank you.
Glad it gave you reason to introspect. 🙂
Definitely created some thoughts here Sharon. My father is gone about 7 or 8 years, and a month before he died (the last time I saw him) he told me that he couldn’t forgive me for something that happened over 40 years ago. I can’t seem to let go of that, though I have forgiven myself. I believe in the spirit world and am hoping that when he finally left his body he understood his part in my life and how it shaped me, and my ex-husband’s part in our lives which damaged the whole family. I hope we’ll be able to communicate on the other side when I get there.
That is sad to hear Jill….sad for him that he was unable to forgive. Holding on to bitterness is no way to live. I am glad you have forgiven yourself and hopefully him for not being able to. I believe there is an “other side” as well. I had to forgive my Dad for committing suicide when I was 10. It took a long time, but I did. I never got to say goodbye obviously, but a few weeks after he passed, I awoke one night to him sitting on the side of my bed. He told me he was sorry and that he loved me so much. He asked me to forgive him, but at the time I couldn’t. It was only after my own daughter was born (15 years later) and I had post-partum depression did I understand his disease and was able to forgive.
namastè
Thank you!
I was just thinking about forgiveness yesterday!
It’s the best thing we can do.
Beautifully said Sharon!! I should have my husband read this post, he carries anger about his past and I believe could heal if you could learn forgiveness. You, as always are an inspiration!
Thank you Laura! I believe it takes learning that forgiveness does not pardon the other person for what they did, it releases YOU from that bitterness. As long as you stay bitter you are allowing the abuse to continue. You take over where they left off. You have to love yourself enough to stop perpetuating it. I hope he heals…
Dear Sharon, I could have wrote this…I understand your hurts and the pain you have gone through..true confessions almost for me. no matter what my dad did with his drinking and his abuse, I will always love him deeply, he left me 30 years ago and I still miss him I have tears in my eyes right now as I read your story and am thinking of mine..I remember one night..laying in bed and shouting out to my dad…he was in heaven already I hope- saying dad I love you and I forgive you…oh God, life!!, yet I had learned strength from my dad and so much more. one long story…you write so well dear Sharon, God Bless you for forgiveness some people never forgive and that to me is sad, it still all sits in the back of my mind and I choose not to think about it. I choose LOVE!!!!..
Amen..
huggs
Sherri
I am so glad my words have touched you Sherri….it’s my pleasure to share. Thank you for opening up too!
I almost couldn’t help it, thank you!!
sherri
Sharon, just by your words in your post and follow up comments says volumes about your forgiveness. Quite a little ministry you have here and I am so proud of you and what you are doing. We all have shortcomings and our goal should be to transform those shortcomings into virtues. Reminds me of a quote by the late Zig Ziglar ” Failure is an event, not a person …. yesterday ended last night”. On my other blog I just wrote something about Fatherhood that I think is appropriate here ( if not tell me and I’ll remove this link ) http://wp.me/ppYrI-2Hp
Thanks for your thoughts Frank. My ministry is one of love and acceptance. I am not a religious person, but I am a spiritual one. I was abused in the church and to be honest have no desire to return. Instead, I am trying to live a life of virtue by just being a decent human being. By not discriminating….not being selfish….not condescending…etc. etc. It makes me happy and I feel good about who I am in this life. 🙂
You are a remarkable person and woman Sharon!
🙂