There is always ONE great thing….The promise of each NEW DAY! Be hopeful…Be grateful!
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Acrylic on Canvas Digitally Remastered
To Allow For Fine Art Prints
2015 is going to be the start of “no bull” for me. I was already starting to tire of it last year and removed some people and things from my life that were causing me negative feelings. And I am not just talking about my personal life, though it has seen the most transformation.
The way I create my art and present it to the World is evolving. Some of my long time collectors and fans have been noticing the difference. Many are excited with how my art career is progressing, but some want me to be the way I used to be. Gone are the days of cheap paintings and deals that are ridiculous on original work. I have come to realize that those types of promotions might make others feel happy, they make me feel bad about myself. My work has value. And I have value as a person.
It’s a new year and a whole new attitude! Prints will be on sale from time to time, but new painting originals will be full priced. Commissions will be hard to come by and if you do not see it offered on Etsy, it isn’t going to happen.
Another big change for me is that I will no longer be “lurking” on the social media pages of people who have hurt me that I have removed from my life. This goes for old “friends” and family. Yup, I will admit to doing that for quite awhile now. It was in part curiosity and in part a deep desire in me to see if they were feeling as bad as they made me feel. It isn’t easy to admit this behavior, but it is something I’ve been working on. I am finally at a point where I can continue the process of letting go! And that begins with not looking back.
For many years including 2014, I have fallen for the trap of living in the past. Sometimes creating and selling art to please others at my own expense. And also continuing to wallow in “what could have been” with people who will never be again.
The past is gone and staying stuck there is bulls*it! So here is to new beginnings and a healthier year!
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Are you trying to hold on to your youth? Your children? A dysfunctional family? A job that isn’t right for you? A marriage that doesn’t work? That D you got in trigonometry in high school?
So many of us cling tightly to what is familiar or comfortable. Others bind themselves to the past and allow it to punish them for their entire lives. Change is scary. Some just cannot picture a life different than the one they currently have. I have learned that the harder you grasp something, the more it hurts when it slips away from you. The secret to life is “letting go”. Also known as acceptance. This has nothing to do with giving up and everything to do with knowing when it is time to move on.
I had a few years of uncertainty and fear as I moved into middle age. I was panicked at the thought of my little girl out in the big mean World all by herself. My marriage had a major hiccup one Summer and I was not sure we would make it. I noticed that I was starting to lose the interest of men when I walked into a room. My body and face were aging and I did not know how to handle it. I was also very confused about what I wanted to do with my business. I considered shutting it down and taking a different path by getting back into Holistic Medicine. I call those years “the worry years”.
Slowly I started to realize that I could not hold onto all of those things that I wanted to remain the same. More importantly, I did not want to. I discovered it was safe to let go and just celebrate where I was headed. I was not only physically different, I was also mentally and emotionally transformed. At 45 I am now excited to watch my daughter leave for college and blossom into her own life. I will not be keeping her bedroom as a shrine where I can focus on the past. Instead it will be converted into a sanctuary for yoga and thinking. She will be welcome to visit anytime, but I will use that space for mediation. I have learned to work “with” my partner instead of “against” him as we weather life’s bumps. I am less selfish. I have also decided that I will not be artificially preserving my youthful face. It’s gone and no amount of face lifting, injecting or sand blasting is going to bring it back. It’s o.k. to have wrinkles and fine lines. In fact, if you allow yourself to let go of what society dictates is beautiful, you can actually admire them for what they really are: signs of a life that has endured numerous storms and celebrated many triumphs.
As for my career that is still being pondered. I have a few new ideas about what direction I would like to move in. But whatever I decide, the process leading up to it will not be fraught with anxiety. No, these are truly “the wonder years” for me. The dictionary tells us that “wonder” means: a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable. And that is exactly where I am. Bring it on life!